just a side trip with depression

There is a sadness within me that I cannot bury. God knows how much I've tried to deny or ignore the sheer volume of desperation that claws at my strength. Yet somehow, I live to see another day. Sometimes the despair slips from my mind and I get to smile and laugh and actually feel happy. It is during the quiet moments that I cannot escape. I willingly face it, more often than not. After all this time, I learned my lesson. Face your fears.

Maybe one day it will all be gone like a bad dream. Maybe one day I can say every dredge of unhappiness has been swept away and I can finally lay claim to complete joy. One day. I hope, I pray. Yes, there is still faith. God has never failed me. During the times that I erroneously thought He did, I've now realized was a failing on my part. I simply did not trust.

My life, though not completely great, is more than some unfortunate people I know. I still have my family, I still have my health, I still have my friends. At one point, all of these had been taken away from me yet I survived. God, whether I was willing or not, sustained me.

I dislike being called religious. I vehemently deny that label yet I hesitate to call myself spiritual. There are a lot of barnacles that have yet to be pried off and I am a work in progress. I'm clinging on to that One day. I claim my destiny for which my God has called me.