to Langga

dear E,

i do not know if you'll get to read this anytime soon.

i hope you are well. i TRULY hope you are well.

guilt and frustration is mostly what i feel when i think of you. frustration because you were given just about every opportunity to live better than other people yet you walked down the wrong path. guilt because you walked the wrong path so maybe we may not have really given you every opportunity.

it is hard because i am not your parent yet i am more than just your ate. when you were born and growing up, i wished great things for you and hoped that you'll be able to soar. daddy, mommy, tito, kuya and i had hopeful dreams for you. we still do, actually.

i'm sorry if we failed you at any turn. maybe we got too complacent, thinking you were such a good kid, you wouldn't know how to make a mistake. but you did. so did we.

when you come back, let's talk again. we have to discuss your future. partly why i'm working hard now is so you will have a future. please take care, langga. we will always love you, no matter what.